Interviewing lawyers feels like speed dating!

                     Where do I start

As far as I knew I just needed to file a few documents with the court, attend the hearing, and then the courts make their decision. Case closed.

I told my current boss that I was filing for custody but not to worry because I would only need 1 day off in the near future to attend our hearing.
I remember him actually laughing at me, not condescendingly, but now looking back I'm certain it was at my naivety.  He told me that things were going to be much more complicated than that. I assured him that would not be the case with our situation. I had overwhelming evidence of Charlie's instability, both physically and mentally, plus he has a criminal record and couldn't pass a drug test. This will be an open shut case............Boy was I wrong!

            Where the heck do I start!

I had consultations with a few local attorneys. The good ones were way too expensive and the affordable ones were total jerks! One even tried to scare me out of filing and assured me that if I did I would lose Cindy to states custody (since I was trying to remove her other parent from her life..side note..that was NEVER my intention) when I told him about Charlie's past criminal record, current drug use, and the psychological abuse inflicted on Cindy,  he told me that I was lucky her dad even wanted to be in her life and then had the nerve to ask "if Charlie was THAT BAD, of a guy then why did I have a child with him" He then proceeded to ask me if I was perfect, because "all parents make mistakes that doesn't make them a bad person". Here I was trying to vet this man to possibly be my attorney and he was acting as if he was working for the other party! Spoiler alert, 6 months later he ended up being Charlie's attorney! (You can't make this stuff up!)

There was one particular attorney that stood out to me as actually being a decent human being and not just a scummy lawyer looking to make a quick buck. He was very straight forward with me. He felt I had a strong case and gave me pointers on how to file on my own. He understood that I was not in a position to hire a high end attorney so he gave me his direct email address and made himself readily available for any questions I might have along the way. (That is pretty unheard of!)

 Most of the other lawyers I consulted with  wanted to make things much uglier than I was OK with, and go in with guns blazing. Their intentions were to try to get as much money as possible or to completely remove Charlie as a parental figure. I realized that the only way I would be able to approach this in a way that I felt comfortable with, would be for me to represent myself.

Google became my new best friend. I was able to find self help resources in my area as well as other information on my states court website. This site provided a breakdown of which forms I would need to file, as well as a vague overview of the steps I would need to take to proceed without an attorney.

Court document verbiage can be so complex and intimidating! I started researching the subject like it was my full-time job, while always having a dictionary on hand.

Meanwhile I actually did have a full-time job and my one year old was having very serious health issues that required her to have multiple hospital stays, and helping my mom who was regaining her normalcy after having several Strokes. During this time my husband was on the road for work.

I don't say all of this to brag on myself or to appear superhuman. I just think it's important to mention these things because no matter how big or overwhelming issues may seem, they are in fact possible when your "why" is important enough. I also want to help people who feel like this is just too much or too hard. One important tool I had learned during the time when my plate was overflowing, was to compartmentalize. Allow yourself blocks of time to focus on each individual task at hand. Then shut that door and focus on the next.

I am not exceptionally intelligent, in fact I don't even have a college degree. With that being said, I want you to know it doesn't matter what your status is in life it is absolutely possible to do this on your own! If you live in the state of Utah please reach out to me and I would be more than happy to give you the contacts and resources I gained along the way.