For months leading up to me filing I had told Charlie that if we couldn't come to an agreement I would be filing before Cindy started school. I don't think he took me seriously. I had always been so passive and willing to do anything to keep the peace.. so I can only imagine how shocked he was when he received the paperwork.
I don't care how passive I had been in the past, now it was a matter of our daughter's well-being.. so I went into full Mama Bear mode and was willing to do whatever it took to protect her.
I attempted to file for temporary orders but since I didn't know all the court language at the time I was calling it a protective order. Because of this I was told I was unable to file a protective order without police reports, or overwhelming evidence of abuse. (I wasn't kidding when I said I made some very critical mistakes at the beginning)
When Charles filed his answer he also filed for temporary orders. He stated that Cindy had lived 50% of the time in both homes and that we both have always provided for her. He also said that my mother had been physically abusing Cindy.
(This may upset some people but I'll always be completely transparent as I write this out, I did let my mom spank Cindy.) As a grandparent and at times her childcare provider, I had given my mom permission to spank as a last resort. She rarely spanked her, maybe once a year, if that. Around this time Cindy started coming back from her dad's house saying ugly disrespectful things to everyone, including my mother. At first I excused the disrespect because I knew it was things that her dad was filling her head with. Later when she started seeing a therapist he told me I still have to hold Cindy accountable for what she does wrong even if someone is putting these thoughts/actions in her head. I still needed to teach her that negative actions have consequences. So when she would tell my mom things like "shut up I don't have to listen to you" I let my mom spank her. Just one swat at a time, not hard or excessively. I even spoke with the courts, the police, and the therapist to make sure this was legal. Charlie knew that I had always allowed my mom to spank Cindy when absolutely necessary, and up until this point he was on board with it. But now he took the opportunity to twist what was happening and say that that my mother was excessively beating Cindy.
He also said that my husband was verbally abusive towards Cindy and that he treated her horrible in comparison to his children. All of a sudden Cindy would come back from her dad's hating her stepfather, whom she previously adored. Saying he was the reason me and her dad were no longer a family. He also told her that my husband is trying to replace him.
Needless to say I immediately started the paperwork to file a statement opposing his motion for temporary orders. In the next post I'll explain what I included in that order as well explain what happened when he kidnapped Cindy for 23 days!
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