Single Mom Life

         I knew in my gut this was for the best 

         Like I mentioned earlier Charlie and I split when our daughter was about to turn 2 years old. And honestly after the initial heartbreak and adjusting to the difficulties that come from a split involving a child, I was actually happier than I had been in a long time! I knew that things had ended for good and for the right reasons. There were no "what ifs" or "am I making a mistake." I can only speak for myself when I say in all regards to the emotional and relationship aspect of the split, it was a pretty clean break. The difficulties came from the co-parenting aspect.
                Ignoring the warning signs

      I was now a single mom with other single mom friends. The father of some of my friend's children wanted nothing to do with their child. While observing this I became so grateful that Charlie wanted to be in Cindy's life that I ended up overlooking many things I shouldn't have. He still had no responsibilities. He was bouncing around from place to place. He had no job. But more importantly he wasn't treating our daughter well.


       Charlie is very cunning and he used my life experiences as a manipulation tactic. My dad died when I was young and I wished for nothing more than to have him in my life. Charlie of course knew that, so he would use that information as a way to get pity every time I tried to protect our child from his lifestyle.

                         For the record

         I want to make it perfectly clear that I never wanted to remove him from her life. I only wanted her protected when she did go with him. I didn't want her around inappropriate and/or certain adult situations.  I understand that I couldn't put her in a bubble and protect her from everything,  but there are things that a child just shouldn't be subjected to. (I'll elaborate on that later).

             You can't make someone change

    For two years I bent over backwards to accommodate him when Cindy was in his care. He never had money or food, so I would supply the necessities when she went with him. I would give him rides and resources to try to help him get to a better place for our daughters sake.  Some friends and family even thought I was still in a romantic relationship with him because of the lengths I would go to, to help him. That wasn't the case although looking back I understand why they thought that. The truth was that I felt like if I could help him get to a better place in life, then maybe he would become the father that our daughter deserved. It turns out all I was doing was enabling him to have even less ambition in life and to leech off of the person who was actually providing for our child.

• I was by no means well off. In fact it was quite the opposite. A co-worker and I rented a home, and I worked insane hours to make ends meet. But I was willing to do whatever it took to help our daughter have stability.