Where it all began
My daughter's father and I met in 2008. We were never married. We had a decent relationship, but we were young without many responsibilities at the time. We didn't really get a chance to truly know each know at the core of who we were as as individuals.
When someone shows you who they are....believe them the first time -Maya Angelou
Most of our time together was spent partying (drinking on the weekends) and having fun. I was in my early 20's with no kids. I worked full-time, and he was recovering from an injury on the job. All I had to go off of who he was previously, was what he told me. So I assumed he was a hard-working man who was down on his luck due to the injury. At the time I wasn't able to see how he handled adult life. Overtime I was able to get a glimpse of his character. He was fine taking handouts and blaming the world for his circumstances, and he had no drive in life. I had always worked hard and taken full responsibility for myself (once I became an adult) so this was strange to me, but not enough to end the relationship. Over time though, I began to see a dark and angry side of Charlie, one that mostly came out when he was drinking, which by then had become a frequent endeavor. But being the fixer I was at the time, I believed I could change him and his behavior... As with most similar situations that was clearly not the case.
Bun in the oven
By the time I found out I was pregnant I was already aware that he wasn't someone I wanted to spend my life with, but I wasn't going to walk away without giving it a fair shot.
I wanted so badly to be a family and not give up, that I chose to see past our extreme differences and fight to make it work. I thought staying together and having mom and dad in the same home was the only way to give her a "real family". I quickly learned that that's not always the case. If Mom and Dad aren't happy, don't fit well together, or are not treating each other well, it turns out that can be much worse than living in two separate homes. I also learned that a real family is simply one filled with unconditional love and support, regardless of how many members it contains. Her dad and I would always be her family, whether or not he and I were together.
Calling it quits
We finally separated 1 month before she turned 2 years old. After multiple DUI's, drug charges, a couple times of catching him cheating on me, and many many fights and sleepless nights, it was time to call it. Time of death 9:58pm September 20th 2011. I'll spare you all the details and answer a question that is probably on every one's mind. Why did you stay so long? Well, one reason was I knew that at least if we were in the same home that our daughter was safe and well taken care of with me there. But I'll be completely honest, I was young, naive, and thought I was in love and I was hoping that eventually he would grow up, and want to be the partner and father that she and I both deserved.
Then an incident happened that forced me to wake up and realize this is who he is, things aren't going to get better. In fact they'll probably get much worse if I continue down this road. Looking back I am so grateful for the bad (at least the bad directed at me) because it was part of the path that led me to who I am now. I am stronger because of what I went through.
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